Another KH II Crack Fic
by Disheveled Heart
Summary: Axel finds out that humans can't fly, Zexion figures out that he doesn't like Yuffie, and Xaldin has a gang of DDR playing monkeys. What else is this crazy fic gonna have?


Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters. I do, however, own the plot and everything that happens. I don't own Dynasty Warriors either.

Warning: This is an AU fic. There's a little bit of mention of shounen-ai/yaoi, which is boys having relationships with other boys. If this offends you, there is a back button.

A/N: Hiya, everyone! This is Disheveled Heart's first time actually posting a fanfic. I have written countless others but have been too lazy to actually bother posting them. Plus they never got past the first chapter. XD Anyways, I hope you enjoy this, and please leave a review. I don't care if it's just one word; just leave me something to let me know if it was good or bad. I don't even care if it's a flame. Now that that's over, on with the fic!

Chapter 1: Bus Stop Threat

Around 3:20 on a Friday afternoon, a whining Axel accompanied an annoyed Roxas home. Roxas had a project to do at the library, and the red-head had _insisted_ on coming with him. He had warned Axel that it was going to be boring, but did he listen? He never did. He used the excuse of them having their bi-weekly "hang-out night" over at Roxas' that night, so Roxas let him tag along.

"Roooxxxxaaasssss!" Axel pouted as he latched himself onto the other boy's arm with one hand, a half-eaten bag of gummi-bears clasped in the other.

"I warned you, Axel. It's your fault for not listening." Roxas tried to shrug Axel off but with no luck.

"Roxas."

"Yes, Axel?"

Axel walked a little closer to the boy. "_Roxas_," Axel said in a sing-song voice.

"_Yes_, Axel?" Roxas tried to scoot away just to have Axel move even closer.

"_Roxas_."

"_What_?"

"_W__h__atcha doin', Roxas_?"

"I'm looking for my other, Axel."

"_Roxas_."

"What do you want?" Roxas' eye started to twitch due to Axel being almost completely on him.

"_Roxas_." Axel rubbed his cheek against the other boys.

Roxas stopped walking and forcibly pushed Axel away from him. "Give me some space, Axel!"

They continued walking with a more normal space between them. Roxas' new-found space was short lived, however, as Axel once again latched himself onto his arm.

"_Roooxxxasss_!!"

Yet again, he pushed the older boy from him.

"Give me three feet, Axel! I do have a personal bubble that is off limits to you!" Axel immediately latched himself onto the other boy.

"_Rooooxxxxaaaassssss_!"

He pushed Axel off him again, eye violently twitching now. "Leave me alone, and eat your gummi-bears!" Roxas glared at him as Axel pouted at him, biting off the head of a red gummi-bear. He would only eat the red and white ones, usually giving Roxas or whoever else was with him the rest.

"You're no fun."

"Fine. Since I'm no fun, you can't come over and play Dynasty Warriors with me and the others tonight."

Axel looked at his friend with a horrified expression. "You wouldn't."

Roxas smirked a little, knowing he had hit a weak spot in Axel. The boy was no less than _obsessed_ with the game, but he never bothered himself with actually buying it, seeing as Roxas already owned it.

Just then, a school bus filled with elementary school students stopped about 20 feet in front of them. Roxas noticed that Axel had gotten a devilish grin on his face.

"What are you thinking?" he asked tentatively.

"Should we steal one?" Axel asked as he directed his freaky smile towards the other boy.

"Steal what?"

"One of the children."

"Axel!" Roxas hit the red-haired man on the back of the head.

"What?" he grinned sheepishly as he rubbed the newly formed bump on his head.

"Don't even joke like that! There are parents around!"

"So?" He looked back at the little kids that were starting to get off the bus. He slowly started walking towards them. "Here, _kiddies, kiddies, kiddies_."

"Axel!" Roxas whispered harshly, slightly embarrassed.

Some of the kids stared at Axel weirdly, and the parents also took notice of the teenager who was trying to get the kids' attention.

Axel held out the bag of gummi-bears towards them. "Come on, kiddies. I've got some yummy gummies. _You know you want them_."

The frightened looks of the children and parents were too much for Axel. He burst out laughing maniacally and shoved his bag of gummi-bears at a distraught Roxas. He then started flapping his arms like a birds and running towards the kids, making weird roaring noises. The children ran to their parents, frightened of the strange man with fire truck-red hair.

Roxas ran over to Axel and whacked him across the head, causing him to lose his balance and fall to the ground, giggling hysterically. "I'm so sorry for my friend's actions. He's not right in the head." He apologized to the parents who were looking at him skeptically.

They ushered their children away from the two strange boys, muttering something along the lines of "teenagers these days" and "that's why you stay away from strangers."

After they disappeared, Roxas glared down at Axel as he looked up at him, tears of laughter in his eyes.

"That was _not_ funny," Roxas said sternly as he walked away.

"Are you kidding?" Axel yelled as he stood up and ran after Roxas. "That was freakin' hilarious! Besides, I taught them a valuable lesson."

"Stay away from strangers, right?"

"Hell no! I taught them that humans can't fly, of course!"

Roxas gave him a blank expression. "Huh?"

"I was flapping my arms so I could fly after them, then I realized that humans can't fly, thus teaching the children that they can't fly either!" Axel smiled triumphantly, apparently happy that he had come up with this explanation.

"I don't know you," Roxas stated as he kept walking, not even sparing the older boy a glance.

Axel stopped in his tracks and waited till Roxas got a little ways away from him. He then ran full speed and glomped Roxas from behind, causing the smaller boy to lose his balance and fall down on the ground with a laughing Axel holding on to him. Axel rolled off the sidewalk and into some grass, making Roxas roll with him.

"Axel!" Roxas screeched after he spit a mouthful of grass out. "Get off of me!"

"No! Never!" Axel shouted as he tightened his grip on the struggling boy.

"Axel . . . can't . . . breathe . . . !"

"Fine." He let go of the younger boy and sat up, a wide grin on his face.

After raising up on his elbows, Roxas just glared at him. Axel jumped up, offering a hand to Roxas, who took it after a minute's hesitation. After returning to the sidewalk, hands still together, Axel started skipping, pulling a startled Roxas behind him.

"Axel! You're a guy! Guys aren't supposed to skip!" Roxas dug his heels into the ground to try and stop the crazed boy in front of him but to no prevail.

"C'mon, Roxas! Be happy!" He spun an unwilling Roxas in a circle around him.

"Dynasty Warriors!" Roxas shouted frantically.

Axel stopped in his actions and just pouted at the other boy.

"You're no fun at all."

"I know."

The rest of the trip to Roxas' house was otherwise uneventful.

A/N #2: Well, chapter 1 is finally up. WOO HOO! Anyways, just letting you know, some of the things in this 'fic will be inside jokes between me and a couple of my friends. And most of the stuff that happened in here actually happened or was said in real life. Like the gummi-bears incident _almost_ happened. The only reason it didn't was because I was on the phone with my mother. So I hope you enjoyed it and please leave me a review telling me whether I should continue or not. Thanx y'allses.


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